The Wurst Audiobook Narrator Nominees #6
Sometimes I'll listen to a chapter I recorded the night before and notice how slow I'm reading at the start. Then the pace will eventually pick up, as if I'm slowly waking up and getting excited about the situation. Then it feels I may be rushing, so I slow it down, and finally find a happy middle. It has to do with being properly caffeinated, hydrated, and my mouth warmed up, so I'm not stumbling over words at 2:30 in the morning. When my situation improves I'll be able to record during the day, but I'm still at the mercy of a lot of outside noise.
I don't want to be a boring narrator, but some people complain when narrators inflect too much emotion, so I try to keep it neutral. I fall into patterns though and it does sound boring- just tell the story Marty.
I want to. I'm working on it.
A reviewer called my Australian accent "horrible" while failing to mention it wasn't supposed to be authentic in the story anyway. Ah well. I know it sucks, but it works for the book- why don't you just pick something else that sucks? There's a ton of examples. One reviewer is a sculptor and he felt so bad about giving me a negative review he apologized,
"I'm sorry, but I had to, you told me to be honest!"
I said, "Of course, it's okay!" I need to improve and I want people to point out my shortcomings. I hope my performance didn't ruin his art project.
This week's nominee may lull you to sleep. One reviewer complained, "Do not take Nyquil before narrating a book!"
He's not kidding. I listen to a podcast called "Sleep With Me" because the host's voice has an effect on me that helps me gradually pass out, but THIS narrator almost knocked me out in a minute. Have a listen and see if you can hang on to your consciousness.
I nominate Ray Chase for his soothing performance of The Compleat Enchanter: The Magical Misadventures of Harold Shea" Sweet dreams!